Do’s and Don’ts

WEDDING DO’s

Now that the engagement is over, the planning begins. Take a deep breath, because if you have the right tools planning a wedding is fairly easy. The key to planning any wedding is knowing what tasks to tackle first before moving on to the smaller things.

Get Organized

It may seem at first that everything has to be done right away. Most likely it is because you have had a dream wedding in your head forever, and you want each aspect of it to be perfect. Yet you need to take that dream apart, piece by piece to develop your plan.

The overall wedding plan will be your guide to creating a wedding without the hassle. Sit down with pen, paper, and note cards and write down a list of all the details you can think of for your wedding. That list should include everything from the date, gown, church, and flowers to the vehicles, music, and décor. No detail is too small for this list. Do not worry if it seems to be taking up a few packages of note cards. Just write until you cannot think of another detail.

Once you have the list, it is time to categorize everything. Yes, it seems like a little extra work, but you will realize later that it actually saves you a lot of time and headaches. Separate items into two piles first. One pile is for the ceremony and the other is for the reception. If you have items that do not seem to fit either category, put those into a third pile.

Create Your Timeline

Now take the ceremony pile and put them in order of a timeline. If you do not know how much time you will need for each item, you can obtain a wedding planner or download the checklist from this site. This will help guide you through the process. As a general rule, things like venue and date usually come first, as you will need to settle those items so you know how long you have to get the other things like your dress and flowers. They will also help you to set the main part of your budget. Once you have your cards in line, do it for your other piles.

Match Tasks:  Saves Your Time – and Money

You can then compare piles and see which items you can combine. For instance, you may have flowers at your reception and your wedding, which you will order at the same time. Your venue may provide you with a caterer and cake designer, which will make planning a little easier. If you still feel overwhelmed or have no idea where to find the things that you need for your wedding, you need to seek out some help. You can consider hiring a wedding planner, who will help take your note cards and turn them into your dream wedding. You can also use the web for advice. If you have a dream venue, look up the number of the event planner there on the web. Planning a wedding takes a lot of footwork and asking questions.

Let Your Notecards Be Your Guide

Put them in order by months, using those nice dividers you can purchase at the office supply store. You can even put them in a binder divided up by weeks or months. This way you will know exactly what you have to get done – one step at a time.

WEDDING DON’Ts

Your wedding day is probably the one day that has dominated your dreams since you were little.  You want it to be perfect, and there are ways to assure that everything goes off without a hitch.  However, there are some things associated with planning a wedding that can give you some headaches.  Here are some pitfalls to avoid:

Don’t 1:  Plan a Wedding for Everyone Else

This is your day.  Repeat that statement over and over until you believe it.  Everyone and their brother will probably be telling you what you “should” and “should not” do, but ultimately the only two people who matter in the planning are the bride and groom.  Yes, you want to bring everyone together for a fun evening, but you have to have fun, too.  Don’t worry about living up to anyone’s expectations but your own.

Don’t 2:  Invite People You Don’t Want There

Your wedding is a budgeted affair, and to remain within that budget you need to settle on a guest list.  Yes, your cousin Joe may want you to invite your third cousin twice removed from Russia that you have never met, but that does not mean you have to.  You want to be surrounded on your wedding day by people you know and love, so make sure those are the people on your guest list.

Don’t 3:  Fret About the Things that Go Wrong

Any good event planner will tell you that not everything goes right all the time.  Yes, there are those few people in the world that have the perfect wedding day where not one thing goes wrong, but in the real world “stuff happens.”  Keep your sense of humor and a flexible attitude on for the day.  See the good side of things, even in the face of disaster.  It does help to either hire a planner or ask someone to help you with your special day by coordinating schedules and vendors.  This way you can focus on what is really important – vowing to love and be with your spouse forever.

Don’t 4:  Forget to Eat

There is nothing worse than a drunk or cranky bride.  If you are drinking at your wedding, you need to make sure you eat so that you do not end up drunk or sick.  Eat a little before the ceremony, too.  This way you can avoid getting dizzy or fainting.  Jitters and stage fright are common, and eating a little can help keep you focused.

Don’t 5:  Let People Drink Too Much 

An open bar is a nice thing at a wedding, but give your bartenders free reign to cut people off.  Nothing puts a damper on a wedding day like alcohol-induced drama.  Drunk people get in fights, say embarrassing things, and even get in traumatic car accidents.  If you see someone is drunk, arrange for someone else to give him or her a ride home.

Don’t 6:  Forget to Send Thank You Notes

When you receive a gift from a shower or the wedding, you should send out Thank You notes ASAP after the wedding day.  The general guideline is 5 weeks.  Make sure the notes are simple but personal.

Don’t 7:  Forget to Confirm with All the Vendors

In the final days before the wedding, it is a good idea to call all the vendors and people involved to make sure they know when and where they are supposed to be on your special day.  This allows you to make arrangements if one of them backs out of your arrangement.

Don’t 8:  Forget to have Backup Plans

Remember Don’t #3 about worrying if things go wrong?  Well one way to minimize the number of “bad” things than can happen is to plan for things to go wrong.  For instance, let’s say your photographer does not show up?  Well, maybe you can purchase a number of disposable cameras.  You may not have all the professional photos, but you will have a lot of candid ones of your special day.

Don’t 9:  Be Late

Being on time is important for a number of reasons.  First, some of your vendors may only be hired for a certain amount of time, and it could cost you a lot to put them behind schedule.  Also, it is rude to keep your guests waiting.  Yes, it is your day, but there is no reason to make others miserable.

Don’t 10:  Forget to Have a Good Time

After all the planning, the day is yours.  Don’t forget to enjoy it.  See everyone you want to see and dance to your hearts desire.

Top Ten Tips On Planning A Successful Wedding

Start Planning As Early As Possible.
Places and service providers are booked earlier and earlier each year. So to insure that you get exactly what you want, start early. It also gives you plenty of time to find investigate other options if your first choice does not work out.


Know Your Service Providers.
The reputation of the service providers you choose is of the utmost importance. Avoid unpleasant surprises on the day of your wedding by selecting service providers with impeccable records.

Put Everything In Writing.
When you book your service providers, anything that you discuss, including special arrangements or deals, that you want included in your package for the quoted price make certain is written in the contract. People can’t remember promises they made to you a year ago verbally, so make sure all the details are written in the signed contract.


Be Organized.
In order to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the number of tasks ahead of you, stay organized. Make an action plan by week of what you are going to do, and keep track of progress. This will help you to keep your thoughts and plans in order.


Pursue Proper Etiquette.
Following proper etiquette has two advantages. Firstly, you will avoid embarrassing social blunders that can ruin your most special day. Secondly, since weddings are an emotional event for everyone involved, not just the bride and groom, it is important to keep all relevant parties happy and excited. By following the proper rules of etiquette you can never go wrong. People cannot argue with what is right!

Invitation.
Invite people to participate in your wedding party because they care about you, not out of obligation. I can’t tell you how often a bride asks someone to be in her wedding out of obligation, and is only frustrated by that individual’s lack of interest and participation. This is the one of the most important days of your life. Only involve people who genuinely share in your happiness and love. If they don’t, there is no way they can behave the way you might expect them to. It is impossible.

Watch Your Budget.
It is very easy to get drawn into spending more on your wedding than you planned or may be able to. There are so many wonderful choices available to brides that you should not have to put yourself in debt to have the wedding you want. If you start out with a budget, stick to it and find alternatives that allow you to do that. You do not want to start your new life with your partner paying off wedding bills for years to come!

Compromise.
Knowing how to compromise will save a lot of stress through the planning process. You, your groom, and families all should enjoy the wedding and be proud of it. While the bride and groom should do what makes them happy, be open to suggestions and sensitive to the feelings of those around you. If you disagree with their recommendations, speak about it calmly and diplomatically until an understanding is reached. It will make the day more enjoyable for all!

Confirm And Follow-Up.
Make sure as the date gets closer, about 2 months before, that you follow-up with your service providers such as the band, limos, photographer, florist, and videographer to confirm your arrangements, provide any last minute instructions, and reiterate timing of all activities. It will make you feel secure and will insure that they understand your expectations.

Relax And Enjoy!
It is a fun, happy, beautiful time. Do not let the planning process mask that for you. Take moments to step back and enjoy what is happening. Especially the day of your wedding, just enjoy it. At that point, you have done all you can and it is in the hands of the trustworthy people you have hired.